As this year comes to an end, I think of the good, the bad, and the ugly of 2013.

The year began with us celebrating three years since we adopted Nina. Every January 1st we remember waking up as a family of five. My husband and I also celebrated our 10 year anniversary.

This year also marked an exciting year of accomplishments as I continue to write. I joined the team of bloggers for Not Alone, and was humbled to be considered among the people and authors that I have come to know, respect, and admire as I walk the special needs journey. In a group of published authors and recognized speakers, it is an honor to write with them.

I also got to write for the Huffington Post! I have three articles with them, I wrote about my mother and how she handled my daughter’s diagnosis of Down syndrome, I wrote about practical ways to help special needs families, and I wrote about Christmas morning in Ukraine.

But this writing has not come without negative criticism. It was hard to see comments, blog posts, and groups be abrasive about the message in regards to parenting children with special needs.

On a fun note, I did publish my one and only piece of fiction on this blog. I wrote it when I was only 16 years old. I translated it to English, edited it, and push the publish button. On that note, I am writing a novel for young adults. At a writer’s conference I got the push I needed to write something I’ve always wanted to write: fiction!

It was also a year of surgeries for two of my girls. My youngest daughter with Down syndrome had her tonsils and adenoids out. My daughter with cerebral palsy had extensive surgery in the summer, and we spent most of it at Mayo clinic. It was  a long summer!

This year also marked the first year all my girls are in school! I was nervous, especially because my youngest has a tendency to bolt, so I conducted a stakeout outside school to watch her during recess, to make sure that she was safe when she is outside. I also worried about her making friends at school, but she has little friends that like her. She has also surprised her teachers and her friends with her abilities, and she makes me feel so proud!

As my girls with special needs get older, the growing up scares me. Yet, I wish everyone could see what I see, because our lives are rich and full.

But I also recognized this year that even when it comes to my typical daughter, I am not ready for the growing up years. I even wrote a letter to American Girl, challenging the messages they send to girls. Let’s keep our kids younger a little bit longer!

Church continues to be the most challenging aspect of life. Sometimes, I don’t like church. And once again this summer I was ready to walk out and start somewhere new. But I attended a couple of writer’s retreats, and God spoke to me about our church. So although I killed my church with a rock, and although we are living in the middle of a contradiction, I am not going to let go. It’s really not about how big our church is, like my father-in-law said, it is enough to exist for the pleasure of God.

I write this post as my family spends time away, just the five of us, getting ready for yet another year, celebrating our four years as a family. A time to count our blessings and look at some of the good, the bad, and the ugly of the year.

And through it all I see glimpses of God. Even as I have wrestled with where He has me now, with what He is doing. Even as we have tackled significant mental health issues with our daughter, whose first four years without a family have really impacted her. Even when I have wanted to quit. Even while people have attacked me publicly through social media. Even while I continue to wrestle with anxiety issues. God is in it all, and He is good. He wipes the tears, and reminds me of how beautiful life is.

And for a last link-up of the year, share with us your best posts of 2013! Or posts that reflect the joys or the challenges of the year.