I feel like a circus performer trying to juggle more balls than I can keep up in the air. It is a matter of time before I drop one, two, three, or all of them! It happens almost every year (usually in the summer, maybe because the kids are home from school and I have less time). So much happens so quickly that I have to take a step back.

Today, I am taking the liberty to post a personal message for you, just words from my heart to yours.

We adopted our middle daughter three years ago from Ukraine. She has cerebral palsy. On Monday she will be having major surgery on her legs.

Why is all of this important? We have suspected our daughter has PTSD for a while (post-traumatic stress disorder). We know this is a result of her first four years in an orphanage, but we also know that some of it is medical related. Once, she described to us a medical procedure she had done in Ukraine in her eye. As she shared her memory with us, we soon realized she was describing an eye surgery we knew about from her medical records, and it appeared from her vivid description it was done without anesthesia.

As we gear up for this surgery, her level of anxiety is high. For a while, we were not getting any sleep as she was constantly up at night in fits of fear and terror without able to explain why she was so scared. We knew.

This will be Nina’s third surgery since she has been home with us. Surgeries are extremely difficult for her emotionally. Two years ago, after our first experience, we took Nina to a special class designed for kids to help them cope and understand surgery. It helped, so we decided to have her take the class again with a Child Life Specialist. He confirmed that she does display signs of PTSD as she has no recollection of any past surgeries done, she has locked it out of her mind, yet she has extreme anxiety and fear she is unable to explain. Nonetheless, the last couple of days Nina seems to be able to manage her anxiety much better and she has been “playing” surgery with the doll and toys she got from the clinic. This is good.

Surgery is Monday. Recovery takes eight to nine weeks, with casts and inpatient therapy thrown in the mix.

It feels overwhelming, because we know it is not only her body that will need healing, but we will be trying to help her find emotional stability through this. That, and the fact that I have two other little girls to parent and focus on through this time.

So what does that mean?

First, I covet your prayers for my daughter and our family. We need you, and your support means so much.

Second, for this blog, it means that I will only be posting once a week for the rest of the summer. I have several monthly contracts, and keeping my job plus posting here two or three times a week would be too much. You will hear from me once a week here, however, I will be keeping up on Facebook and update about my family, and would love to keep connected to you.

Thank you all for being involved in conversation, for being caring, and for giving me a few minutes of your busy day to share with you what is happening with our family.

Like my friend Mary Wasserman from the International Down Syndrome Coalition says, we go forward with HOPE!