I have three girls and each relationship is unique, but I imagine that if my oldest child gave me a performance review,  these 10 points would make it to the list of “needs improvement.”

performance review

1. Every meal needs  a dessert. And no, mom, fruit is most definitely NOT a dessert!

2. Don’t lock the door when you have to go potty. I mean, you tend to choose the most inconvenient times, right when I really, really need to ask you something super important, although sometimes I forget what it is.

3. You say weird things. I think you’re trying to be funny, but calling us, “Wonderful children of mine” is just…weird! Nobody talks like that! Well…except you, which is the point I’m making.

4. It’s not okay to hide chocolate. I saw you had some, it was on the top shelf in the pantry. It’s also one of my favorites,  besides, aren’t you always telling us to share?

5. Big discrepancy happening in the home, so not fair! I go to bed at 8:00 pm, but you get to go to bed much, much later than that?!?! (Sometimes you are up until midnight! Whaaat?!?!?)

6. You say I’m loud, but I probably learned it from you. Maybe it’s genetic. I mean, sometimes you hurt my ears when you’re yelling, “Who made a mess in the living room, I JUST PICKED IT UP 5 MINUTES AGO!” Yeah, you can be the loudest.

7. If you want me to cuddle with you more, then just stop trying to smother me with hugs and kisses. Really, you will get some love when I feel like it. Luckily for you that will happen because I do like it when you hold me, but that’s a secret cause I’m growing up, you know? But now that I told you, don’t tell, okay?

8. Don’t ever wear pajamas to school when you pick me up, it is super embarrassing. Okay, you don’t ever do that, but just in case you ever thought about doing it, it is NOT okay!

9. You talk too much. Waaaaay too much. Like, I always end up having to wait for you to stop talking. You talk at school at church, on the phone, even to strangers when you take the dog out for a walk! Do you have a “stop” button somewhere? Yes, you really do talk a lot, because sometimes when I get in trouble you still just talk, talk, talk, talk. Mom, get to the point, say it, let’s move on!

10. They say I’m a lot like you…I’m kind of scared!

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