“Mom, sometimes, when I look at Nichole she is so cute that I feel like crying because my heart is so full of love.”
There are times I look at my children and I feel overwhelmed because of the intense love I feel for them. It is a love so hard to contain that it spills out in tears. I get this feeling, I am a mom. However, coming out of the mouth of my seven-year-old daughter, it surprised me. It made me realize how uncommon this is, and how perfect these two girls are for each other.
When Nichole was born with Down syndrome, one of the hardest dreams I had to let go of was the type of relationship I envisioned my girls having. They are only 25 months apart, and I had great plans for them. They would be best friends forever. Because of Nichole’s diagnosis of Down syndrome, I wrongly assumed their relationship would not be close.
They are not playmates:
They do play together, but mostly, Ellie adapts to Nichole. Often, Ellie gets frustrated with Nichole stealing her toys and running wild throughout the house, or dragging Ellie’s dearest American Girl doll by the hair. Nichole has a thing for yelling at Ellie in order to get her attention, which is not necessary, but rather bothersome. It is true that my girls are not the best playmates; however, they are closer than anything I could have imagined.
They are sisters:
Every morning, they sit together on the couch as they watch a show before getting ready to begin the day. At school, Ellie hugs Nichole before they part to their respective classrooms, and if they see each other throughout the day, they try hug again. When I pick up the girls form school, they hold hands as we walk to the car and they talk and laugh all the way home. If Ellie picks up a book, Nichole nestles herself close to Ellie in order to listen to the stories and look at the pictures with her big sister. If Ellie jumps, Nichole jumps. If Ellie laughs, Nichole laughs. If Ellie dances, Nichole does too. If Ellie cries, Nichole’s heart breaks into a million pieces and she cries for her sister. Then the two run to each other and embrace, each, feeling the comfort of their sister.
I am amazed at the ways in which Nichole has molded Ellie’s heart. A heart that is full of compassion, acceptance, and gentleness. I see it in the way Ellie loves and treats others, or the way she loves her little sister. In turn, Ellie molds Nichole as she teaches her by example.
There is so much love:
This relationship they have – even at this young age – is simply incredible. The love they have for each other is a love that surpasses any expectations I had. It is the love that drives a seven year old to “get it” in a way that few children her age could even grasp.
So I sit back and marvel about this love we live with, this vast love we get to experience. I worried so much about what the extra chromosome would do to my daughters’ relationship, but I had nothing to worry about, because there is so much love.
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This is q beautiful post Ellen and I go through the same emotions, when I see my son, aaryamann and aarshia playing together. She would hug him, kiss him and push him to get his attention and then they woud run in the house. They are not the best play mates given their age gap of 5.5 years but they share great love for each other….thanks for posting.
Ellie has a maturity and selflessness that is beyond her age. It is a gift from God…:-)
The girl’s relationship is amazing — and I suspect their mother played a huge role in nurturing it!
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful message about your children and their ability to love. I have a ten year old daughter and a five year old son (with DS), and it takes my breath away to see the fierce love they have for one another. Some people live a whole life and never experience the depth of love that I witness in my children each and every day. My daughter is so in sync with her little brother and really knows who he is and what he needs. She plays with him, guides him, and protects him in a way that is far beyond her years. My son adores his big sister and is a source of great comfort and unconditional love for her. He brings pure and unexpected joy to her and balances her serious side. My daughter said it perfectly when she said, “Mom, when he smiles and loves us it is like the sun is shining brightly! But when he doesn’t, it’is like the sun is hiding behind the clouds.”
Oh Lori, thank you for sharing, what a beautiful relationship your kids have!
Thank you for sharing. I was able to witness this same sisterly love in such a beautiful way with my daughter in law, Rena. I have known Rena since she was 12 years old as she and my son started to “date” then. (They are now each 29 and have been married for 4 years). Rena’s older sister, Rhonda, was born with DS. Rhonda was never excluded from anything and when Ryan and Rena built their house, they added a bedroom from Rhonda to stay over whenever she wanted – but that is how it was Rena’s entire life. These two sisters were so close and rarely did anything apart, but when they were a prompt 6 p.m. call from Rhonda to Rena occurred. It was such a beautiful relationship and I was so honored to be allowed to be a part of it. Our Rhonda passed away after heart surgery, the surgery went fine but she never woke up from the anesthesia (sp?). Our hearts are still broke even though it will be 5 years since she will be gone. Rena misses her daily as does everyone she touched and boy of boy she was an attention getter! Awesome and beautiful does not even come close to describing her with just. Jump ahead four years and my other son and his wife find out they are pregnant. They also find out their son, Noah, will be born with DS. Rena now has a nephew with DS whom she is so close with and he will be one on 08/17/14, a day after his aunt Rena’s birthday! Nobody can replace anyone but the beauty I witness when my Rena holds my Noah – is breathtaking! Thank you for allowing me to share my story!
Jamie, thank you so much for sharing this, it brought tears to my eyes! I am so sorry for your loss, but what a beautiful story of your daughter’s and their relationship. I hope my girls are like yours when they grow up.