Several months ago, one of my daughters came home concerned about her youngest sister, who has Down syndrome and spends part of her day in the special education classroom.
“Mom, did you know the kids from Miss Turner’s* class are made to clean the cafeteria?”
I knew my daughter and her classmates worked on “life skills,” but I did not know cleaning the cafeteria was part of it. The truth is, I never asked what “life skills” entailed. That was my mistake and I take full responsibility. I knew this class included cooking, learning monetary transactions, learning job related tasks, but I didn’t know it also meant she was wiping tables and stocking shelves with chips and other snacks.
I was planning on talking to Miss Turner about this, but when I asked my daughter how she felt about cleaning the cafeteria she said, “I really like it mom. I have fun with my friends.”
I am a parent who respects what my child has to say, and I do not want to take away something she enjoys doing with her classmates. I am positive what she enjoys is the social aspect of it, and I believe those positive social interactions are super important in school, especially when friendships can be so hard for our kids.
Related: An Inclusive Education Does Not Always Mean Friendships for Our Kids with Disabilities
Our kids begin to work on “life skills” early on because they may need more time to learn and practice these skills. Depending on the school, for some of our kids with intellectual disabilities this is part of their curriculum as soon as they begin middle school.
On the positive side, when it comes to wiping tables, it is not “free labor.” The kids get paid every month for their work and they can use their earnings to buy an assortment of “things” the teacher provides. However, I do not believe they are being taught to save money or “pay bills,” so the system is flawed.
I don’t mind my child cleaning the cafeteria, but I do dislike and question the why of this task. Why are our kids so often being “trained” or “delegated” to food service? Specifically the shelving and cleaning up? This is not exclusive to our school — many “life skills” programs follow this line of work. It means schools across the nation are training our kids to wipe tables, as if this was the only job they were capable of. And this is the part I don’t like, because why is my kid not being taught the skills required to do other types of jobs?
I believe this is a direct reflection of where our society and education system are at in their disability attitudes. It says, “You can go this far, and this far only, so we will make sure you get this bit done really well.” And I reject that mindset. Nobody knows how far my kid can go, but if the highest expectation on her is to wipe tables, then we have already put a limit on her potential. I know with the right training and practice she can accomplish more. With the right supports, all our kids can accomplish more.
What is also concerning is the “othering” that results from the student body seeing their disabled classmates as the individuals who clean up after them. The “service” people. This is going to directly impact friendships and relationships. I believe this is a contributing reason for why unemployment is so high for people with disabilities — the people doing the hiring have only seen our kids wiping tables and stocking shelves.
It’s time things change. “Life skills” needs to be more.
I want “life skills” to mean my daughter is spending time in the library, learning how to help students check out books, return books to the right shelves, and learn about the different genres and sections.
I want “life skills” to happen in the office, where my child can learn some secretarial work. Answering phones, filing paperwork, sorting mail and memos, or making photocopies.
I want “life skills” to happen in the classroom as a teacher assistant. Handing out worksheets, entering grades, or helping organize school supplies.
I want “life skills” to be more creative.
I want “life skills” to push my kid to be everything she can be.
Related: 7 Things I Want for My Children With Disabilities
And if at the end of the day when my daughter is grown up she ends up wiping tables, we are going to be okay with that. But we are not going to be okay with that if it is a direct result of limitations placed on her by others.
We are talking about the education and training kids with disabilities deserve in order to become fully functioning members of society. It’s time “life skills” training programs step up. Our kids deserve better. They deserve more.
*Teacher’s name was changed to protect her privacy.
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Thank you so much for writing this. We need to have honest conversations about the miseducation of our students with special needs in particular. They are capable of so much more and we are limiting them because we continue to “other” them. Enough is enough.
As a mom of 4, one with special needs, I completely understand where you are coming from. I agree that schools would do well to broaden their focus of what is acceptable for “life skills.” I also want to offer that perhaps the kids with special needs shouldn’t be the only students deemed worthy of receiving direction with wiping tables and counting change. You mentioned the interaction that plays out when the other kids notice the special needs class always cleaning up. The truth is that ALL of our students, regardless of ability, need to know more about life skills. Ideally, every class would be on rotation for cleaning the cafeteria, and helping in the library, and filing papers for the teachers, etc. The biggest lie our students walk away with is that they won’t ever need what is currently considered “remedial” skills for daily life, as well as for a paying job.
As a special needs teacher I teach life skills. Some of my students work on the cafeteria: stocking items (inventory and accounting), sweep and mom floors (daily living skil), and wiping of tables, another daily living skill). These tasks prepare them for not just jobs, or prerequisites for a job, but also give them small victories and something to be proud or and take ownership. Life skills, prevocational, daily living skills call it what you want, but this is one of the many activities they get to do in the school environment that they enjoy. Also, I encourage any parent to establish, present and execute with fedelity an ideal life skills class.
In addition please ask the right questions, o teach a unit on money management, spending, tipping, restaurant edicate as well as cooking, and adaptive cooking. Reading a recipe, following directions, measurements and kitchen safety. We’ve had a class business of selling snacks to the staff, tallying up their bill, presenting them with a bill and collected. (Accounts receivable). So before we jump ask the right questions. Know all the facts, understand our dilemma then offer support and help, not ignorant bashing.
Nobody here is engaging in ignorant bashing. “I encourage any parent to establish, present and execute with fidelity an ideal life skills class.” In order to do that, we need to have conversations like this one.
My 14 year old son is in a life skilled classroom in a specialized school. He also cleans tables as well as laundering and delivering the school’s towels and washcloths used in the classrooms. I don’t view his cleaning the tables or doing laundry as being “othered” or relegated to food service. Are cleaning or laundry not life skills? Independent living will require these skills and many others to be successful, even in a group home setting. I have appreciated that they practice these skills as it makes him proud and he is able to be a big help around the house with less prompting. Not only does teaching cleaning help with daily living, but it Also provides opportunities to expand attention span, fine and gross motor skill work, and task completion. When he was in a life skills classroom when he was in public schools, his classroom collected lunch trays and led to lots of positive interaction with peers and staff. Plus they work on academics and training for other vocations as Just another side of the coin to consider. (Also, I see nothing wrong with food service. I have seen many happily employed folks with disabilities And otherwise working in restaurants btw)
I couldn’t agree more!
Real life is full of chores that lead to self sufficiency and possibly even a job. I remember when my daughter was growing up, her hearts desire was to work the till at Tesco …the beep beep beep one!
She may be till material, but she gets to go and have purpose, colleagues, a routine and personal self earned money. That started with chores and contributing.
At home and school.
This sounds to me as though you don’t find cleaning up to be demeaning but it is not sufficient in the curriculum. I agree.
Not demeaning at all. My daughter enjoys doing it. I just want to see schools do better and think outside the restrictive box they have created.
Have you considered the possibility that the program DOES include other life skills training options that the other students wouldn’t have the opportunity to observe? Lots of skill training happens in the classroom, out in the community on field trips or outings, in the office workroom, etc. Cleaning is just one job within the school environment and like other jobs, it requires using skills such as sequencing task steps, organizing materials, fine/gross motor skills, socialization skills, teamwork, following directives, and time management skills. I’m sorry you feel like your child is being short changed, I’m glad she sees it differently.
Schools should look at the program Holmen HS in WI has in place!
How can I look into this program? I am in Southern Wisconsin and would love to see how others in the state are creating successful programs.
As parents of children with special needs, we can obviously appreciate the fact that our children vary so greatly when it comes to their skill levels. If your child has the skills to do clerical paperwork in an office setting, that is wonderful and should be celebrated! And advocate for those skills to be taught and utilized. If my wonderful, loving, hard-working child has the skills to learn to wipe tables, I am going to celebrate that! And we as a group should support each other rather than look down upon those that custodial work is menial labor. Instead perhaps students in the typical gen ed classes should also learn the humbling task of cleaning up after themselves and others. Perhaps it would breed more respect in our society
As a parent of a child with special needs I think if this is the situation then all of us need to be more and more involved every single day. I know that sometimes this feels like a job itself but if we don’t do anything this will never ever change… we are already involve, but what I mean is to push until this becomes real. We are so many, so strong, so smart and unbelievably advocate mothers and fathers we could change anything. We can’t expect school do this for us, unfortunately we all know how hard sometimes is to deal with schools and all that involves having a kid with different needs, but this is our responsibility… to show them more, to show our kids can do so so much more, they deserve more… I’m not going to rest until this happens everywhere, until inclusion becomes part of breathing!
For 10 years, I served families in the tri-state area of NJ, NY, and PA as an Independent Disability Advocate and Parenting Consultant. I had many conversations with parents of young children about chores, and found out that many families do not assign them to their children with disabilities, mostly because they did not see the opportunity that chores present in building work ethic and “soft skills” for employment.
When parents understand the connection between chores and employment preparation, they typically shift thinking and expectations, particularly if they have never thought of what life might look like when the yellow school bus stops coming. I once met a parent who excitedly told me about her teen starting driving lessons, and when asked to elaborate about chores and cooking skills, told me that she did not trust her son at the stove and pushing a lawnmower. I asked how she would know if he was responsible enough to operate a motor vehicle if she did not trust him enough to cook or cut the grass.
That began a conversation between parents about their expectations for their son, and fears that stood in the way of holding the bar high at home, that impacted their expectations for the school to hold the bar high for their child. We all have to do our part, and it takes a village to raise children with disabilities who also need to learn to hold the bar high with expectations.
If parents were consistently engaging in meaningful discussions with their child’s IEP team, where they were treated with equality and respect for being the teachers at home, and everyone had high expectations, the kind of shift in mindset of all adults demands creative thinking in problem solving and decision making that holds the bar high and wipes out fears that stand in the way.
Making sure the ice bin is full is a great chore once a young child has undertaken simple tasks like setting the table and rinsing the dishes. It gives a child pride in taking responsibility and contributing to the family, and builds ownership of responsibility needed for employment.
I would be infuriated if my son’s school had him wiping tables if he already mastered that skill at home. I would have challenged his IEP team to individualize his education plan and engage in creative problem solving to make the most of his time at school to promote self-direction, self-determination and higher order thinking skills needed for community living.
I would not be willing to be pushed around by school personnel who use lingo to gain the upper hand in meetings by intimidating parents and making them feel as though they’re not the experts on their child. One hour, once a year is hardly enough time to plan for a year’s worth of growth, but most IEP meetings rarely are allotted even an hour, and parents who ask for more are often seen as “problem parents,” especially if they bring an Advocate to the table because they don’t feel they are being heard.
Teachers are not trained in school about the laws governing special education, nor are they prepared in school for writing individualized education plans. Much of the scant training they get comes from supervisors who are also not prepared for this critical part of their job, and often spread misinformation that can lead to unnecessary tension and divisiveness when teams meet by referring to school personnel as the team, and parents as separate from the team.
We have to do better in preparing school personnel to meet the challenges of delivering meaningful educational services pointed toward its goal of preparing students to lead meaningful and productive lives when the yellow bus stops coming.
I don’t hear Ellen say that cleaning tables is demeaning. She clearly states that she will support her daughter doing whatever her heart desires. I do see though that the tasks and our thoughts about them can be even more limiting than our kids disabilities. Yes we all need to learn skills for daily living. I am sure there are many people that can tell you they got through college, cleaning tables, or feed themselves and their families, cleaning tables…it’s not the cleaning tables that is the problem. It’s the assuming that the only things are kids will ever be good at is cleaning tables. It’s the assuming that our kids only want to clean tables, It’s the assuming that our kids should suck it up and compliantly clean tables…even though their hearts, minds and talents lie undiscovered. And it’s teaching them that they can’t be anything other than a great table cleaner…which for the most part means living with a very menial wage job.
We do not put our kids WITHOUT disabilities onto this same track. We tell them they can be anything they want if they work hard at it and we encourage them to find out what that is.
I work with volunteers that have disabilities. I, too, used to give them the cleaning tables task. Until I met Ben. Ben was great at cleaning tables. At 25 he had cleaned tables for nearly every place in town. He also took out trash and swept and mopped. He’d do a great job at first. But it would wear off. He’d slow down, get distracted, talk to employees…you get the picture. Eventually he’d be let go. So I asked Ben, “Why” and he said, “I don’t like cleaning tables.” “But everyone tells me I have to so I do.” We didn’t clean tables. I asked Ben what he would like to do. AND WE DID IT! I taught Ben how to do almost every other job in our organization. Yes it took time…but with feedback from Ben, I could find his talents and interests and craft those abilities into meaningful work for both him and for our organization. He came to volunteer for us 5 days a week. He began training the other new volunteers. He became popular and had a circle of friends and customers that came to see him at our organization. Ben could not read, write or count…..but Ben could learn and love and be an integral part of a team. And he could do work that was meaningful to him and to others. This is what every human being deserves and the choices to explore this part of our kids with disabilities hearts should be the core of any life skills class.
When students with disabilities are all cleaning, especially when they are cleaning other people’s messes, it sends a message of segregation. The kids in CLASS are more worthy of educating in a classroom academic situation to the school than the ones cleaning. This is the message that students of typical development are hearing loudly and clearly. The message it sends is that students with disabilities should clean up the mess of the typical student mess while they are in academic classrooms. Where are the Civil Rights State Advocates when we need them?
I agree with your thoughts. I would also add that kids getting detention are also sometimes added to these types of “cleaning” tasks. What does that message look like….punishment. You did something wrong so you have to be punished. What messages are we portraying to the rest of the classmates? Definitely segregation. Definitely a hierarchy where our kids with disabilities are coming out at another level and not a favorable one. It leads right to sheltered workshops…..and being paid a subminimal wage. And this message is loud and clear to the other students….and its even louder to the person cleaning that table. It does need to stop. It is a matter of civil rights as are most disability issues. And when you are seen as lesser than, it’s much easier and more acceptable to violate your civil rights. Human beings, not human doings.
Thank you for sharing your experience so thoughtfully and with so much personal insight. We, as educators need to ensure we do preference assessments, find out what a student wants/loves and desires to do. Like us, who got to choose our life goals, students with unique abilities deserve the same respect. Along with the ‘mechanics’ of the skills to be taught, we also need to dig deeper and teach the problem solving skills, the executive functioning skills and the ‘soft skills’ that helped all of us not only get a job, but keep a job. The sky is the limit and rather then simply identifying something as life skills, lets equate it with further skills for development or tools for life: and define this as whatever that individual student or youth can, and deserves to learn with the right intentions.