It’s no secret my girls have disabilities. You can easily see the facial characteristics of Down syndrome, or the walker, wheelchair, and gait that points to cerebral palsy. Delays, poor speech, labored steps. I know you see the behaviors, I know you hear the labored words, I know you notice the differences, and I know you are grateful this is not your child. I don’t blame you. I understand. Sometimes it’s hard. There was a time I stood where you stand now, from the outside looking in.
But I wish you could see what I see. Because my kids are so much more than what your eyes perceive. Our lives are rich and full.
I wish you could see the celebration we live with, the excitement we find in the small accomplishments, the way we cheer each other up.
I wish you could see the beauty, to look beyond a disability to see the person, just the person. The beauty not only from the outside, but the incredible beauty that’s found in the heart.
I wish you could see the joy, not just happiness, but the overwhelming joy.
I wish you could see the smiles that knock me over feeling like the luckiest parent in this world. The laughs that make me do crazy theatrics just to hear those giggles.
I wish you could recognize that those clumsy steps mean mobility, and every single step is a win.
I wish you could see the sibling love, so different from what I expected. So real, so close. So beyond my dreams.
I wish you could see how typical our lives are. Sibling fights, trips to the park, grilling burgers in the backyard.
I wish you could see the old me, and recognize how my kids have helped make me into who I am today. How they have helped me rearrange my priorities, and how they have made me stronger, bolder.
I wish you could see our thankfulness, and how very lucky we feel that we get to calls these kids our very own.
I wish you could recognize the sweet sound of those labored words, and how hearing, “I love you” even with missing sounds, is beautiful.
I wish you could see our Friday Family Movie Nights, and how much love you can feel in a Living Room, eating chicken nuggets and French fries.
I wish you could see that we love our life, and we love our family, and we love how well we fit together, all of us flawed in our own way, all of us loved for exactly who we are.
Yes, I wish you could see the love. And I wish you could feel it too. Because it’s the type of love that surprises you, because you never thought you could love this way. Love changes things, even perspectives. I know it changed mine.
I wish you could see what I see.
Special Needs Parents, Are You Surviving?
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This is beautiful Ellen- I will absolutely be sharing on Happy Soul Project…
Thank you Tara!
this brought tears to my eyes and i’m seriously about to cry right now! this is exactly why special needs parents like you are so beautiful in my eyes, to love your children so naturally, and see your kids as just your kids.. recognizing their special needs, but loving them regardless and unconditionally as all parents should. idk if i’ll ever be a parent, but i’d welcome ANY child in my life happily, special needs or not.. and i love my little brother who is special needs as if he were my own. Ellen Stumbo, ur girls are as BEAUTIFUL as u r! thank u for this piece! and i do see what u see! 🙂
Perfectly said!
Thank you! 🙂
I rarely comment on articles, but thank you for this. I was just telling my husband how I was frustrated with all the special need parent articles, detailing how different and hard our lives are. This is a joyous article and expresses my same happy sentiments about raising 2 out of 4 special needs children. Thank you, thank you for this article, it has restored my faith in other parents out there.
Cally, you are welcome!We do have challenges as we raise our kids with special needs, but we have so much joy, and normalcy in our lives that I want the world to know that. Having kids with special needs is not the end of the world, it’s part of life!
No matter what type of special needs out children face. We are all a family of sorts. Wr face challenges everyday that few others outside our situations would understand.Love has no bounderies and gods love and guidance is an absolute…..enjoy your children and love them like god does….
Yes, life does go on. We have our challenges, too, but God has certainly shaped us through our experiences with our daughter (mitochondrial disease). She is still fearfully and wonderfully made, even if she can’t walk or talk.
You are SO right. The joy that comes from the little things is so immense. I am so thankful for how far we’ve come. I love my girl more than I could have ever imagine. She has shaped me into the person I am today and I am so thankful.
O, Ellen, this is wonderful and SO true!
I love this post. Thanks for this wonderful list!