Top 5 Posts of 2015

The top 5 posts of 2015 were close and personal, honest and sometimes raw. I hope you find hope and encouragement for the realness of life in these words. If you are new to the blog, these are 5 great posts for you to chose from, or read them all!

So here are the top 5 posts of 2015.

5. Dear Special Needs Parent, I Know It Hurts When Others Don’t Get It

This post is about forgiveness and letting go, because resentment and anger hurts us the most.

“Some people will never get what it is like to walk in our shoes. No matter how many times we try to explain our situation, our child, the challenges our family has to face – no matter how many details we share – the reality is that most people won’t get it. And some people might think we are exaggerating, or that we are not doing enough, and we might feel judged by their words or forgotten by their actions. So I want to say something very important to you, to me, to all of us that have been misunderstood: I know the pain and the hurt because I have felt it too, but, it’s time to forgive and let go.”

4. Confessions of a Special Needs Parent: I Have Needs Too

This posts highlights 10 needs of special needs parents – okay there are 11, but you will understand why.

“All parents have needs, but for some of us who parent children with disabilities, those needs might be harder to meet. Some of our kids require extra medical attention, or extra supervision, or extra appointments to see different specialists and therapists. It is easier to neglect ourselves than to meet our needs. There are studies that suggest we are more likely to have mental health issues or post traumatic stress symptoms, and I wonder if those are a result of unsuccessfully meeting some of our needs.”

3. Mercy Me, Your “Flawless” Video is Flawed

This post addresses the representation of disability in Mercy Me’s video “Flawless.” While I do not believe it was their intent to suggest that disability is a  result of sin, their visual representation was not very clear about what they were trying to communicate. “The problem is that there is a misconception in the Church, even today, that disability is a result of sin – or that people with disability need healing from their disability more than anything else. These two messages permeate our churches and they push people with disabilities away.”

“My youngest daughter has Down syndrome. And one thing I can tell you is that she does not need the Cross to be “flawless” from her diagnosis. She needs the Cross because she is a sinful human being. If she were to be on that video her diagnosis would be completely, one hundred percent, irrelevant. Her caption would read, “Self-centered” or “Blames sisters for her own actions.” She needs God’s grace to cover her sinful nature, not to alter her genetic makeup.”

2. When Mama Needs Help

This post was born out of my own journey. It is personal and raw and honest because I want you to know you are not alone. It is about parenting in the trenches and our mental health as parents. It is a “post for all the parents out there who feel wrecked, who feel like they can barely go on, who wish that someone out there cared enough and had the courage to enter into their pain, those parents who have many times locked themselves in the bathroom and sobbed.”

“So I want to talk to you, my fellow parent who feels wrecked, it is okay to ask for help.

What happens in our home – the stress, the extra needs, the lack of sleep, the limited support – it affects us!

We are more likely to struggle with depression, anxiety, and poor mental health. So what are we going to do about it? We will do whatever it takes to care for our kids, will we do whatever it takes to take care of us? Our kids need us!”

1. Confessions of a Special Needs Parent: Please Don’t Praise Your Kids For Playing With Mine

This was the most popular post, the closes I’ve had to “going viral.” People agreed with it and some disagreed. I know that unless people walk in our shoes, it is hard understand what it feels like when a typical child is praised for playing with a disabled child.

“You encourage your children to be friends with everyone and to embrace differences, thank you! Unfortunately, with statements of praise of how exceptional they are for playing with my kid, you might be communicating two things:

1. The friendship is all about your child and how wonderful they are, the friend with the disability becomes the outward display of that greatness.

2. It teaches a mentality that separates and makes those with a disability appear as less than those without disabilities , “they are the disabled, they are different, poor them, we should help them.”

Suddenly, I feel as if your child playing with mine is more about pity rather than a real friendship.”